An all too common story . . . want to comment?

I wrote this FICTIONAL but REALLY common, story- Bruce Brown

This is a Fictional account! I made it up from dozens of stories similar to it that I hear weekly. If you think this story was written about you, particularly, you're wrong! I had no one man or woman or family in mind as I wrote this. If this describes you to a "T" it only serves as a sad reflection that this story is all too common.
=============
Here is how this mythical man may have spoken:
"I’ve always considered myself a reasonable and non-violent person. After the birth of our first child I had to work extra hours to make ends meet. When I came home late each night my wife was often angry for many different reasons. We would argue and it always ended up the same, with her yelling, pounding on me with her fists, kicking at me or hitting me with whatever was in her hand. One night after an hour of this, I tried to get out of the apartment, she wouldn’t let me go, I was frantic, I pushed her back inside the door and took off to cool down. I was sitting in the parking lot of the donut shop when a police car came up and they said I was charged with assaulting my wife. I was 48 hours in jail and in court the judge told me I was on probation. I couldn’t go home and I had to go to anger management. The whole system is slanted for women and against men. How about some balance in the system instead of always blaming the man. "

Here is another way of telling his story:

"I like to think of myself as unflappable, No-one can get me upset. After our child was born, things weren’t as nice around our house. The baby took all the energy my partner used to have for me. She wasn’t as pleasant to be with and the house was in upheaval because of this demanding child. To stay in control of myself, I decided I would just stay away from the house. I would stay at work or elsewhere and only return as was needed to eat and sleep. I can rationalize this as good because we do need extra money with her not working and with the extra expense of the child. This got my wife upset but I wasn’t going to get drawn into her little drama. Eventually she got really angry and started hitting me. I tried my best to escape these assaults but didn’t discuss it with her because I knew her agenda. It was to draw me into the drama of the household and the new child where I felt totally inadequate (In over my head) On the ONE day in my whole life that I ever hit anyone, I was just trying to escape again. I didn’t even hit her, I just pushed her out of the way and ran out. She’s unstable and now she’s just trying to manipulate me using the police as her tool."
============
Dear Reasonable Guy;

I am going to write back to you, an imaginary letter from your partner to her best girlfriend. If you want your relationship to continue, or if you want to have a relationship in the future, perhaps you could draw some answers from what she might have revealed.

"Dear Alison; (Fictitious name)

What a nightmare I am in now. As you know, my husband was always my ‘rock’ my protector, my hero. Now I am so frustrated with him.

When our baby was born we were so happy. We both learned to change diapers and in the first two weeks that was a shared responsibility. I was gratified that he would go out and buy me anything I needed for the baby and he continued, later, to do that that because with the one car, I’m pretty well stuck in the house.

She got colic-y for 10 days and that’s when I began to notice the change. He was as frustrated as I, that the baby wouldn’t stop crying but at night he said he had to get some sleep so he could work in the morning. As the ‘stay at home’ person, it suddenly became my responsibility to stay up at night and in the morning I was a wreck. Then I began to get cabin fever. While the baby was asleep, I would clean the house, wash the clothes, and prepare meals. When the baby was awake in the day we had some lovely times together, it was so exciting and I longed for a real adult to tell about all the things that were happening.

He started coming home later and later and he was more and more tired from this extra work he was doing. I felt like he didn’t want to hear about our baby. In fact I started to get the feeling that the baby was a bother to him. Whether the baby was awake or not he wanted my attention too. I started to feel really frustrated that he would plunk himself down in front of the TV and treat us as if we were a bother to him. If I was trying to settle the baby or if she was fussy, instead of helping me he seemed to be demanding my attention, as if he were another child.

When I confronted him about that he would say he was too tired to deal with this and would go into the bedroom and shut the door, or out to work in the garage. I became so up set that a couple of times I yelled right in his face that he was a lousy father. He would yell back that he was the one supporting the whole family as if my contribution as homemaker and mother didn’t count.

Last week I got really frustrated with his non-caring and his always avoiding helping me. When he tried to escape the garage, I stood between him and the door and refused to move. He took me by the shoulders and tried to move me aside. I yelled at him that he was a selfish bastard and pounded on his chest with my fists as hard as I could. Then he just pushed me aside (you know how strong he is) and I fell against the refrigerator and clunked my head on the handle.

That hurt and I got a bruise but I suddenly got all shakey and I thought that I don’t really know this man. I felt afraid in my own house and I didn’t know what to do so I called 911. He had to spend the weekend in jail and now he can’t live here or talk to me. Now I’m REALLY alone and financially I don’t know what the future holds. I need help and I don’t know where to turn

Your Friend

Amy (Fictitious name) "

Of course, this may not be anywhere near what was going on in your partners head, but . . . WHAT WAS going on in your partners head. Can you put your self in her shoes?

============
Don't forget that Blogs appear in reverse order and the Blog you just read may have nothing to do with the one below it on this page
============